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I can imagine Hank's mom overriding his GPS, "You're lost, aren't you? You should've turned left two blocks ago, like I said."

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ha!

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May 26, 2023Liked by John Ward

This was a great story, John! I wasn't ready for that AI bit at the end. And I tracked the footnotes to see how you applied your Alexie analysis to your work - very cool! Do you this "analyze and apply" in your day job? Assuming that your day job isn't fiction writing, but I'd be happy to be corrected!

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Thanks for your kind words. I really appreciate them.

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I'm just a wannabe writer.

My day job is making book covers for writers. I paint the pictures they use for cover art for science fiction/fantasy books. A couple of years ago when generative art AI went mainstream with the arrival of Dall-E and then Midjourney, I became concerned that it was going to take jobs from me and started to focus more on writing. Since that time I'm always analyzing stories that I enjoy. Why do I like this? How did the author make me care about that character? How did they set up that big surprise? I try to pay attention the first time through a book, but if the book is really great I'll just reread it again trying to steal every bit of technical acumen I can. Then, I try to consciously apply that to my attempts at writing... with varying levels of success.

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I’m glad the twist worked for you and I really appreciate you speaking up to let me know that you enjoyed it. Thanks again.

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I really enjoyed the story (and didn’t pay attention to the structure until after). Just when I thought I knew how this was going to play out, the story changed. I guess in these AI times, Mom doesn’t have to be just a permanently critical voice in your head! Great read!

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.. can take this comment with a shooter a salt.. cuz at this moment ain’t sure but !

Will inquire who’s ‘voice’ are ya writin talkin as / or in or from ? it be YOU or that fictional protagonist ?

Might mebbe benefit from some more ‘distracted emotion / internal commotion’

.. loosen it up a tich or two & might maybe accomplish so by extracting mebbe 50-75% of the ‘I’s you employ.. & let other characters identify emselves by their ‘voicing..’

Listened to Pinball Alexis by th bye.. & like both versions.. seems memoir style ‘life lived’ with that ‘truth ending recognition.. if I was to advise him.. n only re the audio version mind you, not the writing ever.. would softly roll in ‘some of the obvious ambient sound fx t lend credence.. more ‘work a course.. but real payoff.. that the director/editor embedded in me.. ain’t no musician as can’t play a lick.. but speak ‘soundtrack’ fluently eh ! 🏴‍☠️🦎

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