I enjoyed your story a lot, and found it meaningful. I love the balancing act that you brought to the subject matter, and the comic surprise ending. There are times when life can feel like a labyrinth of hospitals and nursing homes, ect, and it's the warm moments, the funny moments, that stick with you the most, however few and far between they are.
This was a great story, John! I wasn't ready for that AI bit at the end. And I tracked the footnotes to see how you applied your Alexie analysis to your work - very cool! Do you this "analyze and apply" in your day job? Assuming that your day job isn't fiction writing, but I'd be happy to be corrected!
My day job is making book covers for writers. I paint the pictures they use for cover art for science fiction/fantasy books. A couple of years ago when generative art AI went mainstream with the arrival of Dall-E and then Midjourney, I became concerned that it was going to take jobs from me and started to focus more on writing. Since that time I'm always analyzing stories that I enjoy. Why do I like this? How did the author make me care about that character? How did they set up that big surprise? I try to pay attention the first time through a book, but if the book is really great I'll just reread it again trying to steal every bit of technical acumen I can. Then, I try to consciously apply that to my attempts at writing... with varying levels of success.
I really enjoyed the story (and didn’t pay attention to the structure until after). Just when I thought I knew how this was going to play out, the story changed. I guess in these AI times, Mom doesn’t have to be just a permanently critical voice in your head! Great read!
.. can take this comment with a shooter a salt.. cuz at this moment ain’t sure but !
Will inquire who’s ‘voice’ are ya writin talkin as / or in or from ? it be YOU or that fictional protagonist ?
Might mebbe benefit from some more ‘distracted emotion / internal commotion’
.. loosen it up a tich or two & might maybe accomplish so by extracting mebbe 50-75% of the ‘I’s you employ.. & let other characters identify emselves by their ‘voicing..’
Listened to Pinball Alexis by th bye.. & like both versions.. seems memoir style ‘life lived’ with that ‘truth ending recognition.. if I was to advise him.. n only re the audio version mind you, not the writing ever.. would softly roll in ‘some of the obvious ambient sound fx t lend credence.. more ‘work a course.. but real payoff.. that the director/editor embedded in me.. ain’t no musician as can’t play a lick.. but speak ‘soundtrack’ fluently eh ! 🏴☠️🦎
I can imagine Hank's mom overriding his GPS, "You're lost, aren't you? You should've turned left two blocks ago, like I said."
ha!
I enjoyed your story a lot, and found it meaningful. I love the balancing act that you brought to the subject matter, and the comic surprise ending. There are times when life can feel like a labyrinth of hospitals and nursing homes, ect, and it's the warm moments, the funny moments, that stick with you the most, however few and far between they are.
This was a great story, John! I wasn't ready for that AI bit at the end. And I tracked the footnotes to see how you applied your Alexie analysis to your work - very cool! Do you this "analyze and apply" in your day job? Assuming that your day job isn't fiction writing, but I'd be happy to be corrected!
Thanks for your kind words. I really appreciate them.
I'm just a wannabe writer.
My day job is making book covers for writers. I paint the pictures they use for cover art for science fiction/fantasy books. A couple of years ago when generative art AI went mainstream with the arrival of Dall-E and then Midjourney, I became concerned that it was going to take jobs from me and started to focus more on writing. Since that time I'm always analyzing stories that I enjoy. Why do I like this? How did the author make me care about that character? How did they set up that big surprise? I try to pay attention the first time through a book, but if the book is really great I'll just reread it again trying to steal every bit of technical acumen I can. Then, I try to consciously apply that to my attempts at writing... with varying levels of success.
I’m glad the twist worked for you and I really appreciate you speaking up to let me know that you enjoyed it. Thanks again.
I really enjoyed the story (and didn’t pay attention to the structure until after). Just when I thought I knew how this was going to play out, the story changed. I guess in these AI times, Mom doesn’t have to be just a permanently critical voice in your head! Great read!
.. can take this comment with a shooter a salt.. cuz at this moment ain’t sure but !
Will inquire who’s ‘voice’ are ya writin talkin as / or in or from ? it be YOU or that fictional protagonist ?
Might mebbe benefit from some more ‘distracted emotion / internal commotion’
.. loosen it up a tich or two & might maybe accomplish so by extracting mebbe 50-75% of the ‘I’s you employ.. & let other characters identify emselves by their ‘voicing..’
Listened to Pinball Alexis by th bye.. & like both versions.. seems memoir style ‘life lived’ with that ‘truth ending recognition.. if I was to advise him.. n only re the audio version mind you, not the writing ever.. would softly roll in ‘some of the obvious ambient sound fx t lend credence.. more ‘work a course.. but real payoff.. that the director/editor embedded in me.. ain’t no musician as can’t play a lick.. but speak ‘soundtrack’ fluently eh ! 🏴☠️🦎
What a cool idea; really enjoyed this.